The Lady in Pink

I fondly remember the day, I saw mom in her full strength. She wore a light pink gown like attire that morning. I was young but I could feel that she believes that the world is up for grabs. I was happiest that day. I felt most secured that day. And I felt most home that day. She hasn’t been at utmost comfort for the last year or so. She went through paralysis due to blood clotting in her brain in Jan’14. The fact that I wasn’t there for her when she was going through an operation makes me feel sad and bad about it. Her condition has improved but being a heart patient makes things more difficult for her. Lately, I am seeing her loosing her belief in life. Watching her struggle for a normal breathe every day is painful and heartbreaking. I wish I could tell her, you will be fine “one day”, but deep down I don’t know what our future is going to uncover.

For the last few days, my imagination is giving me hope. It is boiling up an event which I pray is true one fine day. And I want to live long enough to write a testimony to the blissful evening when I will see my imagination turns into a reality. Here is my sketch –

—–

A winter day about to hit dawn
With sun closing its eyes and lightning up the moon
Birds flying back to their nests, feeding their babies and chirping
And a slow musical breeze adding a plethora of lightness to everyone’s mood

Mothers and dads enjoying a light procrastination with their buddies
And at the same time watchfully looking over their children’s play
Old men and women sitting on lawns in circles with shawls and scarves
Feeling proud discussing their grandchildren’s success stories
And confident over their political and family views

Suddenly a loud whistle flipped my attention towards a warm house
A lady wearing a pink attire is cooking healthy meal for her family
She is lean with long black and brown hair and soft angled eyebrows
Washing dishes inch by inch and then moving sideways to ignite a stove
She turns back to my eyesight and peeks through her kitchen window
I think she is looking for her husband and is now relaxed
For she has found him talking to their friendly neighbor near a swing

Then she lifts her head smiling and waving her hands
As if she is asking me to run and come fast
I was confused because it was just me and my imagination
Suddenly my soul feels heavy as I watch a young boy going past me
As the moment unfolds, my eyes become heavier

He waves back at the lady, asking her to open door for him
She asks her younger son to open up the door for his brother
But he was busy contemplating at his childhood heroes
Seeing that she leaves the kitchen to go to the front door
Frustratedly looking at her younger child but smiling at the young boy
After helping him to washroom, she looks back at me
This time with a lot of hopes and proudness
Giving me chills of courage and self belief

This very moment, she was the most beautiful
This very moment, she was the most strong
And this very moment, she was the most confident

I wish I could experience this profound moment one fine day
But this time in reality not in a figment of my imagination and past memory
And this time, smiling and waving at a young man not a young boy
And I can tell you that I will be the happiest when it happens

—–

lady_in_pink

Image: Art by Giovanni Boldini

I end my post with a good piece of music for your ears – Loud Places

P.S. I dedicate this blog post to mom.

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I Thought You’re “The One”

In my head, I played with the idea
That you’re a special one
In my heart, I saw
That I emotionally connected to you
I imagined you and I discovering new places
And living a worthy life

Your presence was my sun
Your voice was my caffeine
Your anger brings an unexpected smile
And your calling opens up my closed mind
But your emotionless face frustrated me to the core

You give me kick to travel
You inspire me to build my dreams
You were in my life for a short interval
I wish I’d have shared more memories
I wish I’d have shared more of me
And I wish I have known more of you

When I look back to those weeks
You were a blessing to my life
Will remember you always
Even if are oceans apart
And your name will always be on my lips

Sometimes life doesn’t give you what you want
Sometimes life has other plans
Sometimes life tells you to give up
And I curse life for what she’d done
But life is beautiful and it keeps on going
This time without you
And I give my best to both of you

In my head, in my heart
You are the person, I wish I’d have
Love is majestic
And I would love to love again

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P.S. Inspired by the song “Atlantis” by Seafret.

Gora – A Short Story

Gora is a short story [I like to call it a thriller] about Gora, a young boy from a small village in India. He makes his way into the corporate world using his sheer will and hard work and undivided support from his family. Now, he works for a MNC in one of the metropolitan cities in India. The story starts from a late night office scene, including the protagonist Gora and his boss. Soon it unfolds into a total….well read it to find what happens next.

[Story starts]

Gora ends his hectic day at office and packing up his bag. His boss, Ravi [manipulative, cunning, hard-working, and a liar] is very happy with Gora’s intelligence and work ethics, which helped him completing an important 2-month long project, well in advance [bonuses are huge for this project]. Gora, after days and days of struggle is smiling. Ravi uplifted his heavy spirit by telling him  – “Well done, Gora. We made it!” He had been waiting for those words. Praising is one thing Gora really needs from time to time.

[Thunderstorm]

Ravi: Well, I am heading home. I am assuming it is going to rain soon. Do you want me to drop you home?
Gora: Thank you Ravi, but I prefer going home alone today.
Ravi: I understand you are very excited but are you sure you want to go alone?
Gora: Yes!
Ravi: I feel right for your future at this firm. Keep doing the good work. Sleep tight!

[Ravi leaves the office]

As Gora is moving out from his office, clouds of confusion take over his joyful face. Confusion is one thing he really enjoys. It plays with his young adventurous mind. “Should I take a taxi or walk and enjoy this fortunate drizzle?” – He asked himself. After weighing up pros and cons, he decides to walk. [He his very thorough in his approach.]

“It is going to be a long walk” – he murmurs. Then, he looks up to the sky.

[Poor fellow can’t even imagine what lies ahead. It is definitely going to be a long walk.]

As he keeps looking at the sky, filtered rain drops by long naked tree leafs, wash away all his tiredness and confusion. This subtle rain reminds him, his village and beloved sister. He is thinking to call her but something stopped him. Then, he moves his dangling eyes toward the left of road. He sees a couple at the corner table, near the glass of a restaurant. Both are laughing, putting their hands over each other, giving each other warmth and enjoying their delicious food.

This brings a sudden laughter on his washed face. He thinks how he used to enjoy eating food from his sister’s plate and how it made her go nuts. Those moments are right there in front of his eyes. He wish to meet his sister soon. He is again thinking to call her but didn’t call. “It is going to be a long walk” – he reminded himself again.

Gora walks few more steps and sees a big salon. Neatly placed hair brushes, people dying their hair for the young look, some polishing their nails and others just gossiping and giggling. Men and women alike, all are here. He laughs again. People now giving him strange looks. “He is crazy” – a girl, standing close from where is passing by, told her girlfriend. Does you need any help young boy? – an old lady asked. “Nahi amma” – he replied. He is now hallucinating a scene where he and his friends are getting their hair cut under an old “peepal ka ped”. He is enjoying the weird faces and hair styles of those men and women in the salon. “The world is moving faster and becoming stranger each day” – he said to himself. It is 9:30 PM and he has travelled only 500m from his office in 30mins. “Everything seems slow” – he murmurs.

Then, Something strange happens. Gora can’t feel his ears. As he looks towards his right, a heavy wave of sound blows away his mind. “Noise is too loud”, can’t you fools think so?” – he shouted angrily. He never felt so much anger before. Drizzle is starting to grow now. “It feels like someone is throwing pointed nails at me” – he thinks. But Gora can’t do anything about it and he carries on. He needs to be home by 10 PM so he has started moving faster.

He stops at a tea stall to sip a hot cup of tea to soothe his soul [Gora totally forgot he is running late]. He sees people smoking and he is enjoying the smell. “I need one cig” – he told chaiwala. He coughs after taking it in. He tries again and coughs. Tries again and coughs. Ultimately decided to throw it away. He also sees people buying alcohol and thinks why so many people buy alcohol when actually it is bad for health. “Maybe it is good once a week” – he told himself. He is again confused. Confusion is what he likes. But this time he just wants to reach home soon.

Suddenly, his phone rings. It is his sister.  He is excited to talk to her after such a long time. He picks up the call and his sister tells him – “Gora, bhaiya, bhaiya, maa guzar gayin hain, aap jaldi se gaon aa jayo”. As he listened her sister speak, his heart suddenly stops. He is breathing fast, real fast. He doesn’t know where to go, where to sit. He is moving right, left, up, down and in every possible direction. He is going crazy. And as he tries to cross the road, a car struck him.

[boom] His blood is all over the road.

His sister heard something loud over the phone and says – Gora, Gora, kya hua, yeh awaaz kaisey hai. Gora tum theek toh ho na. Gora Gora Gora……..”

In the next scene, we see that Gora’s boss, Ravi, has been arrested at his house after hours of Gora’s accident. He is charged with use of illegal drugs.

[Story Ends]

rainy day

P.S. The name “Gora” is taken from the book “Gora” by Rabindranath Tagore

Say Something

Waiting & waiting to see you open your heart
To see your face signing off my lost arc

You said our love is divine
You said we would never fall out
And now you claim we are best when apart

My life has taken a 180-degree flip
It’s cold inside as I can’t feel your warmth
My brain is freaking out as I have nobody to talk
And the days of my life are moving too fast

Without you being closer to my soul
My eyes weeps for your unconditional smile
And those dimples when you laugh out loud

Let me feel the anger you are holding in your blood
Say something harsh because thats what I deserve
I drowned in the words I spoke to you
Can’t take heat of the fire I bestowed upon you

I don’t miss you, I am missing from you
I want to slow down to sync with your fast breath
So let’s catch up everything since our unfortunate split

Stop playing hide n seek and talk
Say something, say something and burn that ego down
Say something, say something and wash away all the old clouds

say something

P.S. To all the lost souls 🙂

Like a fish in the sea

Taking on dreams made you who you are
back then you’re a shining light but now
hard and stiff is who you’d become
always pointing out errors outside
and your fun is lost, the real why is lost

Tell me don’t you want to be free
free like a grapevine, free like the tree roots
flowing and flowing and flowing like a fish in the sea

Don’t you want to be laughed at
laughed at to overcome your insecurities
laughed at to unburden given responsibilities
force out the fear of pressure that is pulling you inside
to let your words flow out like a fish in the sea

You always said money is not the truth
sense of values is the truth I root for
and truth is the purpose I live by
I see that your real truth is dead now
and you see truth is the falseness you seem not to care about

Break, break the shackles that holds you back
give away the dreams that holds you back
and feel the love inside your heart

Can you hear, can you hear me
your ears are short and your brain is big
so, I am shouting hard today
listen to me, listen to me please

Without you I feel like I am in space
collapsing and going farther and farther away
my heart explodes in tears watching your state

I can’t bear these emotions any longer
so, I am giving myself one last chance
please come back, please come back
and be like a fish in the sea

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